Our cars had burned holes in the ozone layer. We’d poisoned the oceans with oil and trash. And we were all getting fat. Yes, the future was a dark, dark place. Until now.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold Pepsi Special.
Just released in Japan, Pepsi Special is a new soft drink that tastes exactly like regular Pepsi but contains an additional ingredient that suppresses the body’s absorption of fat. So it’s good for you. It’s soda, but it’s good for you.
This is a huge deal. If Pepsi Special does what it claims to do, it will be massively successful. And if it’s massively successful, copycat companies will engineer nutritious versions of every delicious-yet-unhealthy snack, meal and treat they can think of. Soon all foods will suppress the body’s absorption of fat. All foods!
It will be the end of obesity and the dawn of a new age. An age when technology solves the world’s problems instead of creating them. Imagine the Google Atmosphere™ and the Amazon Trash-Shrinker™. Imagine Moon City, USA, brought you by Subway™. It will be so wonderful!
Or maybe Pepsi Special is just a BS marketing gimmick.